We Are Not Our Illnesses, but We Know Them

“Each patient carries his own doctor inside him.” 
― Norman Cousins, Anatomy of an Illness

Let's be honest, sometimes our bodies suck.

Illness and hospitals have been a part of my life since the beginning. I can hardly tell you of more than a handful of days when I have actually felt good. It's just something that I am used to. I know when I'm getting sick, I know when I need a doctor, and I know what will make me better. It comes from doing the same thing over and over, year after year.

That is one of the main reasons that my husband and I didn't think we would actually have biological children. It's something that I was open with him about from early on in our relationship. If this man was going to date me and hopefully ask me to marry him one day, then he needed to know everything about me. My medical history, my relationship history, and everything else about me.

Once I had a guy friend tell me that I didn't need to tell my boyfriend everything, and my response was simple: I've seen too many movies where the bride or groom finds out something on the wedding day and everything is ruined. Not worth it. Honesty is everything.

But back to illnesses. Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), asthma, weight problems, anxiety, depression, surgeries, back and knee problems... just to name a few that I have lived with. But to touch on the one that causes an countless issues for women. PCOS.

Symptoms (which tend to start gradually)*
-Weight gain
-Inability to lose weight
(Well that's cruel. "Here, take all of this extra weight. But, you can't give any of it back. Oh yeah, almost forgot to tell you, the rest of your symptoms will only get better if you find a way to lose weight. HAVE FUN!!!)
-Menstrual problems, including; irregular cycles, few or no periods, heavy bleeding, severe pain, etc.
(Sidebar. Did you know that having irregular cycles and few or no periods makes it super hard to get pregnant? Cool.)
-Hair loss
-Extra hair growth... but in places you don't want it. Like your face, neck, back, chest, hands and feet.
(This article shows one woman's battle with this side effect. Read the comments, it's wonderful to see women talking about these issues and educating others)
-Oily skin and acne
-Insulin resistance, which leads to more weight gain and skin tags.
-Depression and/or mood swings which can become quite severe.
-Breathing problems while sleeping. Sleep apnea, which is linked to weight and insulin resistance
Last, and maybe the most difficult for some:
-Fertility problems. These can involve not releasing eggs (not ovulating) and repeat miscarriages.

Many women have no idea that there is a name for all of the problems they are going through.
Many women don't realize that there are other people out there who feel just as sick, tired, sad, angry, and at a complete loss for why nothing is working for them.

So many doctors have told me, "You need to lose weight" or "This will get better if you lose weight," yet no one offers any education on how to accomplish this with PCOS.

The point I was trying to get to with all of this is simple. Women know their bodies. We also know when we are not being treated right by the medical professionals that we are trusting with our hope of having children. We are not being educated. We are not being focused on. And most importantly, we are not being given as much attention and care as we deserve.

I will go into more detail later on my experiences with the doctors and nurses who "helped" me through my pregnancy loss.

Please do not misunderstand me. I have extreme respect for doctors and nurses. I have close friends who have shown me how much care and personal emotion goes into this life. But that doesn't mean that there aren't some who do their job with less than stellar bedside manner.



*List of symptoms taken from WebMD